It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you. Marilyn Monroe
The point when we start to think that people around us are becoming too successful or too smart, and instead of admiring them, learning from them and working with them, we become envious, is when we fall into the injured quadrant. Jealousy hurts our businesses and ourselves.
When we encounter people who are more successful and powerful than we are, we fall into admiration and/or envy. Admiration is seen as a positive and noble sentiment. Envy, on the other hand, is a negative feeling and seen as bad. All envy first starts out as admiration.
Envy is a feeling which “occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it”. Bertrand Russell, a British philosopher, once said that envy was one of the most influencing causes of unhappiness. Avoid poison envy as comparison kills learning. People that envy often blame themselves because others are a reflection of what they wish to be.
Admiration is a social emotion or feeling evoked by people of competence, talent, or skill exceeding standards. Admiration enables critical learning and motivates self-development through learning from role-models. When you admire you’ll be able to feel inspired.
The wicked envy and hate; it is their way of admiring. Victor Hugo
Tintin Snack: ‘Why People Hate Microsoft and What To Do To Be Loved’ lecture of 2003 by Max McKeown. Microsoft were having challenges with the justice departments in the European Union and the US about their position in the market when prolific UK author, Max McKeown, came along in the summer of 2003 to talk to a company meeting of 300 people from the Benelux group on how Microsoft was perceived at that time. On stage, he presented himself as a corporate activist in worn-out jeans. He was able to connect with the audience and produced a passionate, energising session, helping Microsoft to understand why people hated it at that point and what to do to be loved. The admiration for golden duo Bill Gates and Microsoft had become envy. When we become too successful, people will try to find weaknesses, wait for you to make a mistakes and their feelings shift into envy. Microsoft learned a lot, and with the right actions since then have continued to be one of the most admired brands in the world.
You might remember Apple’s Antennagate of 2010, the first ‘big scandal’ that hit Apple. The iPhone 4 placed the antenna on the outside and people noticed that holding the iPhone in a certain way caused the reception to drop out. Apple’s initial response of ‘Just avoid holding it that way’, had a vast negative response as people, many with envy, jumped on it and blew it out of proportion. Some were glad Apple made a mistake after years of tremendous success. The iPhone 4 sold very well but it had to go a first big storm of criticism. Apple learned a lot and so did the public.
Don’t fall into this trap. Learn from others, admire them for who they are, but don’t waste time on judging and envying them. Don’t waste time on waiting for them to make a mistake. When you see others who are healthier, wealthier or more successful than you, look at what you can learn from them.
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Olivier Van Duuren
As international Public Speaker, Trend Sensemaker, Executive Whisperer and Author, I help businesses to take the pain out of their personal and business transformation, leaving them with a regained sense of spark.
